Since Massimo was born I have often been asked if I’ve seen Welcome to Holland. Finally I have received a copy and I have transcribe it for you below. I didn’t write this, I don’t know who did, but it is incredibly insightful.
Welcome to Holland
I am often asked to describe the experience of raising a child with a disability – to try to help people who have not shared that unique experience to understand it. It’s like this …..
When you are going to have a baby it’s like planning a fabulous vacation trip – to Italy. You buy a bunch of guidebooks and make wonderful plans. The Coliseum. The Michelangelo. The gondolas in Venice. You may learn some handy phrases in Italian. It’s all very exciting.
After a few months of eager anticipation, the day finally arrives. You pack your bags and off you go. Several hours later, the plane lands. The stewardess comes in and says “Welcome to Holland”.
“Holland?!?!” you say.
“What do you mean. Holland? I signed up for Italy! I’m supposed to be in Italy. I’ve dreamed all my life of going to Italy.”
But there’s been a change of flight plan. They’ve landed in Holland and there you must stay.
The important thing is that they haven’t taken you to a horrible, disgusting, filthy place.
So, you must go out and buy new guidebooks. You will meet a whole new group of people you would never have met.
It’s just a different place. It’s slower-paced than Italy, less flashy than Italy. But, after you’ve been there for a while and you catch your breath, you look around and you begin to notice that Holland has windmills. Holland has tulips. Holland even has Rembrandts.
But everyone you know is busy coming and going from Italy and they’re all bragging about what a wonderful time they had there and for the rest of your life, you will say “Yes, that’s where I was supposed to go. That’s what I had planned”.
The pain of that will never, ever, ever go away because the loss of that dream is a very significant loss.
But if you spend your life mourning the fact that you didn’t get to Italy, you may never be free to enjoy the very special, the very lovely things about Holland.